One of the many, many reasons I love my baby

I'm not really one of those "oh listen to the cute thing my kid did" kind of bloggers. I can talk incessantly about her for hours, believe me, and sometimes I do, but not here.

However, this story is so Ciara. She is six (seven in Jan), and still very, very six. She has lots of time to grow up.

I fetch her from aftercare and she is literally BOUNCING with excitement at the tale she has to tell me.

C: "Mom, guess what happened today!!! Giancarlo said the 'F' word!!!!"

Me : "He didn't!!!!" I always say this to express shock and amazement, not to express disbelief. I'm crazy like that.

C: "And we told on to Mrs. T"

Me : "Good, that's a naughty thing to say, and kids really shouldn't be saying that word."

So, the story is told. I'm thinking about what to buy at woolies for dinner, and which way home will get me stuck in the least amount of traffic. Then about five minutes later :

C : "Mom?"

Me : "Yes sugar lump?"

C : "Whats the 'F' word?"

I can only imagine that she had been racking her brain all day about what possible word starting with 'F' could make everyone react so shocked.

She is so amazingly sweet, and innocent, and naive, just the way a kid should be.

I love her for so many reasons, and this is just one of them.

You rock my angel!

It's a mans world . . .

Being a woman in a mans world, I have had to put up with a lot of sexism from a lot of people. It usually just amuses me, it is fantastic to be underrated, you are always surprising people!

The following is a little extract of what has happened to me, how I would have liked to react, and how I did react.


Scenario 1
I answer my phone, with my standard
ME: Hello, Kerryn speaking
POP : May I speak to Kevin
ME : We have no Kevin, I’m sure it’s me you are looking for, my name is Kerryn.
POP : No I need to speak to Kevin, I need some technical info.

How I would like to have responded
1. Hold a moment, and then put them through to Jacob, the gardener, and told him to tell the guy on the phone his name is Kevin.
Or
2. Changed my voice so it was deep and said "Hello This is Kevin".

What I did
I said, I’m sorry I can’t put you through to Kevin because we have no Kevin working here, why don’t you just ask me, and lets see if I can help (I’m so fricken ‘helpful’ and ‘nice’.)

Scenario 2
I have done a proposal, with drawings and rates, and I know what is going on. I go with the boss (Mike) to the meeting with the client. He has just come back from another meeting and does not have any fricken idea what is going on with this project. So I give him a brief rundown in the car, but keep in mind he has never even looked at the drawings (this is not unusual, pretty standard for how we roll).

So we get to the meeting and sit down to discuss the proposal. Mike, rightly, says "I’ll let Kerryn take it from here".

So I give my very professional presentation complete with impressive technical terms and explanations. I use many laymans terms, just enough technical jargon. I have done this exact same thing seven million times before.

The client does not look at me once during the whole presentation, and when I am done, he looks directly at Mike and asks a completely random and stupid question. Mike! who, clearly, handed the presentation over to me!

How I would like to have responded
1. Keep dead quiet and let Mike sweat (this wouldn’t have been fair. He is totally awesome and values me because I am a woman and not despite it.)
Or
2. Said "Oi, over here dude, I’m the one you want to ask - were you not here for the presentation I just gave you. Did you sleep, were you semi comatose, are you still?"

What I did
I said "Excuse me Mike, if I may . . . . " and answered the guys question, and the other four hundred totally stupid, idiotic questions he had after that! I used my authoritarian voice too. The same one I use to shout at the puppy when she wees on the floor.

The client was like a naughty puppy who had just weed on my floor.

Bad boy. Bad, bad boy!

A bit about me . . .

How old do you feel? Usually 6. Sometimes 31. Rarely 84.

What do you believe is the meaning of life? Happiness (and 42)

Why is the sky blue? Because it reflects the ocean, hell I can’t remember!

What is your favorite thing to cook? Cook! Ha, ha, ha - OMG that was funny.

What would your last meal be? Something so fattening, the fat would block my arteries and I would just die right then and there.

What is the youngest age you have memories of? About 4 or 5, not many though.

What is your favorite thing in the world? I think it would be Ummm, I have lots of favorite things hmmmm my house?

What living person would you want to meet? Bono, and maybe Kylie - dunno.

What dead person would you want to meet? Leonardo da Vinci - that old dude totally rocked.

Where in the world would you like to live? Fiji

Who has the most influence on you? Ciara - no doubt

Would you rather be single forever with a great family or be with your soul mate and have no family? Single with a great family absolutely!

What is your favorite scented candle? Scented Candle - do I look like someone who has scented candles?

Have you ever read the bible? Yup

Who do you dislike most in the world? Mugabe & Bin Laden

What is your ideal date? Lots of laughter, great food and just a bit of alcohol

What is your favorite shape? A trapezium (WTF kind of question is this!!)

What color do you feel represents you? Seriously, what colour represents me? How about the blacking-blueish colour one gets when punched in the eye?

Would you rather be honest and poor, or a liar and rich? Honest and Rich

What is your ideal ice cream creation? I just buy my ice-cream in a six pack from pick ‘n pay. I like the Magnums. And MOO.

What is your favorite thing to do? Work avoidance by blogging and answering pointless questionnaires.

What is your favorite junk food? Steers, hmmm steers

What is the longest you've gone without talking to anyone? Ha ha ha - if there is no-one for me to talk to, I talk to myself. Me, not talk, now that's fricken funny!

What is your favorite board game? 30 Seconds. Although I’m getting quite fond of Rumble in the Jungle and "Up-a-bit"

What is your favorite book? I can’t really answer this question. Many books have left me with many different feelings. I can tell you my least favorite is the one I am trying to read now. It is THE MOST BORING BOOK EVER, but I am committed to reading it now!

What toy have you always wanted and never gotten? A Porsche Cayenne, but I’m still young.

What item could you not go without during the day? Food!!

Do you consider yourself smart? Oh poor person who wrote this. Of course I do, in fact I consider myself to be a fricken genius

How old were you when life was the hardest? 12 to 18

Is there anything you have to do every day? Umm brush my teeth?? Is this a real question? How about take a shower, or eat or shit. Um, ya, there are lots of things I have to do every day

Do you curse in front of family? I say "fricken" and "darn" quite a lot

If you had to get back with an ex who would it be? Oh Lordy no, none of them ever. Or could it be someone else's ex? Cos then I’d take Orlando, or Julian.

When was the last time you felt truly loved by someone? Every day!

What character trait would you change about yourself? Me, nothing, I am the very picture of perfection. Okay, maybe some humility wouldn’t hurt.

Which of your five senses would you give up if you had to? Smell - I think it would be the easiest to get used to.

What do you do when the power goes out? Play games by candlelight, then when Pudding Pot is sleeping I read by torch.

Would you rather spend the night out or in? Hmm, probably In.

I just had a heated discussion with a colleague about racism, and the fact that he is one, a racist, I mean.

I am shocked that people like him exist in this world still. It’s always an "us" and "them" thing with people like that and I am so tired of it.

I grew up during Apartheid. It was only abolished when I was 16 years old. The first democratic elections were held on my 18th birthday, and it is the only year I never voted.

I have a vision of "us" and "them" too. But in mine the "us" is those of us who believe in a future for South Africa, for people of all colour. Those of us who teach our children about acceptance and love and kindness. Those of us who have the power to change this country and to make it into something beautiful and free and fair.

"They" are those that diminish the beauty of this country by their viscous words and actions. Them who break the law daily and buy that car radio system out of someone's boot. Them who are so quick to blame ‘the blacks’ for all the badness in the country, when it is those very same people who are creating the DEMAND for SUPPLY, which means my house getting broken into.
Those who hurt, and steal, and abuse. Those who have no place in my world.

I was accused of being a naive liberal who isn’t realistic. Me, who spent R70000-00 on security in her home. Me who drives like a Meerkat. I am not realistic about the state of the country. I know the faults of South Africa, I know how much hatred is seething below the surface, but I have hope. I see the goodness in people.

I see that Ciara has noticed the difference in people. She has noticed that her skin is peach, and her friend at schools skin is brown. And that is it. She sees no class distinction. There is no superior and inferior. She sees nothing more than the only difference, which is on the outside.
I see the hope in that. I see the future in that.

I leave you with the words of Steven Tyler:
"If you can judge a wise man by the colour of his skin, then mister you’re a better man than I".

Entry the Tenth

I haven't got a lot of time, it has been the busiest week of my life . . . . . . until next week.

I have a few thoughts.

Number One:

This is Henry VIII

Not This

Secondly, what is with cyclists? Why do they insist on using The Worlds Narrowest Road at 7 o'clock in the morning. And I'm not talking about the poor dude whose only means of transport is his rickety old bike, I am talking about them of the 48-speed-super-duper-look-at-my-nifty-little-shorts-that-reveal-my-manpart persuasion. They can go to my nice quiet neighborhood and cycle all they want without the risk of being run down and bleeding to death while disgruntled motorists laugh and point.

I really, really don't get it. They give me road rage. I have bad, bad thoughts sometimes.

And finally - Umm, I have no final thought - to anyone reading - have a fricken fantastic weekend!